Pop-Cultural Root of all Evil and Aggression

“Today, though, I want to talk about the pop-cultural root of all evil and aggression, which is not Scattergories, not Grand Theft Auto, not the music of The Screwed Up Click. It is the insidious, grudge-fueling, wrath-provoking waste of four hours that is the Parker Brothers classic Monopoly. The evil is right there in the title! Would you play a game called Anti-Trust? In which your goal was to drive up the price of gas and force everyone to take public transit? I say ye nay. We as a people have agreed for some insane reason to sit down with our families and try to drive them out of their homes. The republic is built on the sacred bond between citizen and property, and this game is about taking it away! How un-American is that? I mean, you might as well drive that little pewter car over the little pewter dog!”

Trey Graham, Pop Culture Happy Hour

Plastic Bertrand n’est pas Plastic Bertrand

Back in 1982, when I saw the movie “Summer Lovers” at Paul Swangard’s house, there were two songs that I determined, at the time, to be awesome.  “Ça plane pour moi” was one, and “Just Can’t Get Enough” from Depeche Mode’s first record (before Vince Clarke left to form Yazoo) was the other.  That one of these totally awesome songs has turned out to be a cynical media fabrication does, I admit, sadden me ever so slightly.  Fortunately,though, it’s also the one that turns out to actually be a crappy song.

Apparently Plastic Bertrand (who is not actually Plastic Bertrand anyway) did not really sing “Ça plane pour moi.”  Shocking.  Nor did he sing any of the songs on “his” four albums.  Wait…he had albums?

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVDfmn_TMkI

I wanted to put both videos in here, but Depeche Mode is now also a cynical media fabrication and doesn’t allow embedding the video.  Instead, here is the original video for “Don’t Go” by Yazoo.  It sounds a lot like it could have been on that first Depeche Mode record.  It’s impressive, really, that they survived the departure of Clarke who wrote nearly all the songs on that first DM record.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VML1u8KJjEo

This Pitchform article has all the gory details about the Plastic Bertrand affair.

Ça plane pour moi (English Translation)

“Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky.
As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter
where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in four colours

Allez-oop! One morning
a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
a  plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
like an Indian in his igloo

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This work for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas!
what a vibration!
to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled
You are the King of the divan!
she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I am the King of the divan

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! Don’t mind, don’t worry
Don’t affect me
It’s not today
that the sky will fall on my head
and I’ll be without glue
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s  for me

Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
like a complete jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I’ve put my foot in it

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
This workss for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me”

Tim Gunn On Superhero Costumes

I’m all tingly. What better way to spend your next ten minutes that by listening to Tim Gunn discuss his fashion takes on various superhero costumes? By the time he finishes talking about Spiderman, I’m breathless.

Twilight was Stupid. Stupid Book, Stupid Movie. Buffy Would Have Made It Better.

If Edward had lived in the Universe of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it would have been shorter, funnier, and way more best-ier. If you were slightly tweaked by the creepy stalker crap, and the more than creepy “I love you so much I want you to kill me” crap, oh yeah and the weirdly puritanical (written by a Mormon, you see) underpinnings of the crap-fest of a movie, this may make you laugh.

Can “No Homo” Be Anything But Anti-Gay?

While it’s not really part of my kids’ playground world yet, I do know that it lies in wait just around the corner in Middle School.? And while I’m a big no-fan of telling people what they can and can’t say, I’m an even bigger fan of not being an idiot and knowing the impact of words.? I didn’t know the history of the phrase “No Homo” (didn’t even know it had been around for so long) and found this video informative, interesting, and more than a little clever and funny.

Jay Smooth on “No Homo” and reclaiming insults that are not used to insult you:

How Long Until Dollhouse Is Cancelled?

dollhouseI’m a big fan of Joss Whedon, but I can’t for the life of me figure out two things:

  1. Why he is doing another show on Fox
  2. Why he is starring Eliza Dushku in that show

Honestly, does he want the show to fail?? It’s the only thing I can think of given that he is back with a network that totally screwed his last series (Firefly, which was actually great), to produce a new show (Dollhouse, which is not).? I know that his shows usually take a few episodes – even half a season – to find their legs, but Ms. Dushku is going to take much longer than that to learn how to act.? I didn’t like her in Buffy and I don’t like her here.

The thing was, Buffy was a great show in spite of the other wooden actor (Sarah Michelle Gellar in the title role) because there was so much else to love about it:? The other cast members were interesting and fun, and carried the show in spite of SMG’s cruddy acting, and the writing was fresh, quick, and funny.? Dollhouse doesn’t seem to have either of those two things.

I’m betting it’s doomed.? Will it last the season?? Who cares?

Buffy Season 6 Review by MikeJer

I really like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.? I’ve now watched the entire series three or four times (the last time with the kids).? I’ve been known to expound on what I feel Buffy has to say about our world – probably even more than some (perhaps unfortunate) drinking partners would prefer.? But this guy MikeJer…now he really knows how to go on about Buffy.? ? Case in point: nearly 14,000 words analyzing the often derided Season 6.? Just, wow.

Buffy Season 6 Review by MikeJer – SuperJer.com.

Proud of Ohio; California, You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself

I’ve got a rocky past with California, having grown up in Oregon where the general feeling about the state to our South was “keep it moving.”? We had a Governor back in the ’70s who (perhaps mythically) proposed that I-5 run from California to Washington with no exits to anything other than gas stations.

But I never really bought into that crap.? Heck, some of my best friends came from California.? San Fransisco is in California (though some may argue it actually belongs in Ecotopia with Oregon and Washington), and I really like San Fransisco!? I’ve always had a nice time in California, and it’s rumored by Conservatives to be the last bastion of ultra-Liberalism (though, if they actually think Barack Obama is a far left Liberal, they haven’t met too many people like me and my friends).

Then there’s Ohio.? I was born there, but we left before my sister was born 17 months later.? I’m really happy that we left.? Growing up in Eugene, Oregon had a lot to do with my world views, and I like my world views.? Somehow, though, I ended up living in Cincinnati for ten years before coming here to Maryland a few? years back.? Both of my kids were born in Cincinnati.? Two of my dearest friends and their bitchin’ kids live in Cincinnati.? But I never felt like Cincinnati was “me.”

I loved moving to Maryland, in part, to leave a red state for a blue one but now the world has flipped on it’s head and I have only two things more to say:

“Thank you Ohio, for helping us elect someone I hope to be a great American President;” and “To 52.5%? of California: Fuck you for Proposition 8.? Really.? Fuck you a lot.”

Movies: “White Squall”

Since it’s so hard to watch an entire movie every day, I’ve decided that it’s okay to write about the last half of a movie as well. Today, whild cooking lunch, I watched the last hour of “White Squall.” Jeff Bridges plays the captain of a ship-board class in the ways of seafaring. He takes a group of teen boys out for some weeks to teach them about how to be a lot of things. Most importantly: men. Like “Master and Commander” (reviewed 10/20/2004) this is a very manly movie about the special bond and love that develops between men when bad things happen.

Fortunately the men in this movie take their shirts off a lot and hug vigorously, so at least some passing honesty is afforded to the homoerotic underpinnings of such relationships. Don’t get me wrong here. In case you don’t know me, that is not meant as a slight or slam on masculinity. I think it’s at the core of our definition of masculinity and the denial of it is what leads to most violence (anti-gay or otherwise) committed by men. End sidetrack.

If the pacing of the dramatic storm that is the namesake of this movie is any indication, I’ll wager the first half of this movie is tedious in the extreme. I’ll bet that the camerashots are long and slow. I’ll bet that, like “Master and Commander,” no small amount of fetishistic glee is wrung from every drawn out panning shot of rigging, gunwhales, and poop decks. Double enténdre everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

I’m out of tea. Good day to you.