J and I have decided to start a new blog about our family and our experiences getting through life (or just the day) as four card-carrying members of the ADHD club. We’re not all medicated and all have different challenges that arise, at least in part, from the ADHD. Also, given that Julie is a super-powered hero of organizational strategies (organizational strategies – mind you – are quite different from actually being organized) it seemed like we might be able to give folks in similar situations some tips.
The adventure of a lifetime…my first experience with legitimately prescribed stimulants.
I’m still not sure if this methylphenidate stuff is doing the trick but I’m riding it out. I started at 5mg in the morning and 5mg around lunch and graduated after four days to 10mg each. In a week or so Ill up to 15mg and well see whats what. I’m still trying to detect what, if anything, these little green pills are doing.
I think that I occasionally feel “stimulated” but havent noticed anything out of hand. I think that Ive been more able to focus – or at least to not procrastinate quite as much – but its hard to say. My experiences with drugs (back in high school mostly) were along the lines of: “take some and wait a half hour. If you have even the slightest feeling that reality has not been completely obliterated, take more. Wait another half hour and repeat if necessary. Oh heck, why wait a half hour, just take it all…youre young.”
So that’s where it gets strange for me.
I’m taking a controlled substance EXACTLY as it was prescribed by my doctor. I went in and was totally honest about my symptoms, I took a battery of tests (WAIS and some other ADD and memory specific tests), and this is what has been determined: I’ve got Attention Deficit Disorder.
What I’ve learned about this condition would tend to explain a lot of the trouble I had in school before I wised up enough to drop out. But then so would being completely bored and more interested in life as a rock star than re-writing an English essay.
Its hard to say, I’m not totally convinced that I have ADD, but somethin has to explain the cotton-eating weevils (see previous entry). Furthermore, I’m not totally convinced that, if I do have ADD, this medicine will do anything for me. I’m willing to give it a shot though. Ill let you know how it works out for me.
The jumble is what I’m used to.
It’s like cotton. Packed in tight.
Sometimes it gets itchy, but most of the time it’s not so bad.
It’s like a big box of old toys, mementos, shirts, thoughts. It’s like the box is packed tight with cotton.
It’s safe (we can assume) since being so tightly packed, the contents of the box won’t have been damaged all those times that the box was dropped. But what’s the use of even having the stuff in the box if it’s so tightly packed that you can’t find that one thing (your keys) that you just put in there? The problem is that when you put something (that phone number) in the box, it doesnt’ stay at the top. It could be anywhere. There’s no organization. The more you (I) dig, the harder it is to find anything. It’s the fucking cotton. It’s just in the way of everything. But at least it’s soft.
So now I hear that maybe there’s a way to get the cotton out. A way to make the searches for things (keys) go easier. A way for the things placed in the top of the box to stay there. For them to be as easy to find as they seem to be for other people to find in their boxes.
It sounds great, right? I mean, who wouldn’t want their box to be more useful? To be more organized?
But what if all that stuff packed tight at the bottom of the box hasn’t been kept safe and sound by the cotton?
What if there are weevils way down there in the box and they’ve been eating?
What if some of those things (toys, shirts) are gone forever? What if they never really got put into the fucking box in the first place? What if there’s been so much cotton in the box for all these years that things (keys) that I put in the box didn’t really ever find a place? Maybe it will be like Geraldo and the empty tomb.
If that’s the case. Well, is cotton really so bad?
But the weevils. I worry about the weevils.