Since it’s so hard to watch an entire movie every day, I’ve decided that it’s okay to write about the last half of a movie as well. Today, whild cooking lunch, I watched the last hour of “White Squall.” Jeff Bridges plays the captain of a ship-board class in the ways of seafaring. He takes a group of teen boys out for some weeks to teach them about how to be a lot of things. Most importantly: men. Like “Master and Commander” (reviewed 10/20/2004) this is a very manly movie about the special bond and love that develops between men when bad things happen.

Fortunately the men in this movie take their shirts off a lot and hug vigorously, so at least some passing honesty is afforded to the homoerotic underpinnings of such relationships. Don’t get me wrong here. In case you don’t know me, that is not meant as a slight or slam on masculinity. I think it’s at the core of our definition of masculinity and the denial of it is what leads to most violence (anti-gay or otherwise) committed by men. End sidetrack.

If the pacing of the dramatic storm that is the namesake of this movie is any indication, I’ll wager the first half of this movie is tedious in the extreme. I’ll bet that the camerashots are long and slow. I’ll bet that, like “Master and Commander,” no small amount of fetishistic glee is wrung from every drawn out panning shot of rigging, gunwhales, and poop decks. Double enténdre everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

I’m out of tea. Good day to you.