Control Loop (Feed-back Diferential)The adventure of a lifetime…my first experience with legitimately prescribed stimulants.

I’m still not sure if this methylphenidate stuff is doing the trick but I’m riding it out. I started at 5mg in the morning and 5mg around lunch and graduated after four days to 10mg each. In a week or so Ill up to 15mg and well see whats what. I’m still trying to detect what, if anything, these little green pills are doing.

I think that I occasionally feel “stimulated” but havent noticed anything out of hand. I think that Ive been more able to focus – or at least to not procrastinate quite as much – but its hard to say. My experiences with drugs (back in high school mostly) were along the lines of: “take some and wait a half hour. If you have even the slightest feeling that reality has not been completely obliterated, take more. Wait another half hour and repeat if necessary. Oh heck, why wait a half hour, just take it all…youre young.”

So that’s where it gets strange for me.

I’m taking a controlled substance EXACTLY as it was prescribed by my doctor. I went in and was totally honest about my symptoms, I took a battery of tests (WAIS and some other ADD and memory specific tests), and this is what has been determined: I’ve got Attention Deficit Disorder.

What I’ve learned about this condition would tend to explain a lot of the trouble I had in school before I wised up enough to drop out. But then so would being completely bored and more interested in life as a rock star than re-writing an English essay.

Its hard to say, I’m not totally convinced that I have ADD, but somethin has to explain the cotton-eating weevils (see previous entry). Furthermore, I’m not totally convinced that, if I do have ADD, this medicine will do anything for me. I’m willing to give it a shot though. Ill let you know how it works out for me.