Since it’s so hard to watch an entire movie every day, I’ve decided that it’s okay to write about the last half of a movie as well. Today, whild cooking lunch, I watched the last hour of “White Squall.” Jeff Bridges plays the captain of a ship-board class in the ways of seafaring. He takes a group of teen boys out for some weeks to teach them about how to be a lot of things. Most importantly: men. Like “Master and Commander” (reviewed 10/20/2004) this is a very manly movie about the special bond and love that develops between men when bad things happen.

Fortunately the men in this movie take their shirts off a lot and hug vigorously, so at least some passing honesty is afforded to the homoerotic underpinnings of usch relationships. Don’t get me wrong here. In case you don’t know me, that is not meant as a slight or slam on masculinity. I think it’s at the core of our definition of masculinity and the denial of it is what leads to most violence (anti-gay or otherwise) committed by men. End sidetrack.

If the pacing of the dramatic storm that is the namesake of this movie is any indication, I’ll wager the first half of this movie is tedious in the extreme. I’ll bet that the camerashots are long and slow. I’ll bet that, like “Master and Commander,” no small amount of fetishistic glee is wrung from every drawn out panning shot of rigging, gunwhales, and poop decks. Double enténdre everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

I’m out of tea. Good day to you.

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Who can resist a flick about five kids in a cabin in the woods, surrounded by suspicious townsfolk, and the creeping death of a skin virus? Ok, so a lot of people resisted it. Maybe “resist” is a strong word. A lot of people just simply didn’t go see it. That’s a shame too…the movie is really pretty fun. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, is occasionally scary, sexy, funny, creepy, and thrilling. It also isn’t a whole lot of any of those things.

How scary is it? I watched this one alone after everyone else was asleep and didn’t even have to run up the stairs after turning off the basement light (where I watch my flicks). That means that it wasn’t very scary. Not like the first ten minutes of “Jeepers Creepers,” which was among the scariest ten minutes I’ve seen on screen (but which is unfortunately followed by some of the most pedestrian horror crap around); Not like the time in 1980 - when I was in sixth grade and had my first projection-screen television experience while babysitting for the new neighbors - and was all like, “hey, I wonder what this movie ‘Alien’ is all about? I like space! Neat!” and just went right on ahead and put that baby in the machine. Julie and the kids can thank that two hours of my life for much of my personality. Honest, it’s not my fault. I’ve been damaged.

So there you are. “Cabin Fever” is worth watching. Just don’t run any traffic lights getting to the rental store, and if you’re looking for scary, grab something else too.

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He’s Eminem. Don’t think for a second that nobody cares what he says. They may be too young or too dumb to vote, but they do listen.

A discussion. Because discussions are good.

“Let the President answer on high anarchy
Strap him with AK-47, let him go
Fight his own war, let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our soil
No more psychological warfare to trick us to think that we ain’t loyal
If we don’t serve our own country we’re patronizing a hero
Look in his eyes, it’s all lies, the stars and stripes
They’ve been swiped, washed out and wiped,
And Replaced with his own face, mosh now or die”

Real Audio link
Windows Media link

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“Van Helsing” was enjoyable enough and the effects are mostly really neat-o. The story is…well…it’s hard to say. It’s not like the story sucked or anything, it was just kind of sort of there to show monsters. So, as far as showing monsters goes the story accomplished just what it was supposed to. Beyond that it was pretty snoozy.

Hugh Jackman was good. Kate Bekinsale was good. Everyone was good. Except the guy playing Dracula. He was a bit dissappointing. I guess when so many people have taken a stab at the character there’s just so much to hope for. Kind of like Henry VII, or Hamlet. The character is such an archetype. Dracula is such a familiar presence in the world that he seems to have substance beyond any time he’s been performed, and always seems lacking when an actor offers their interpretation. For my money, Gary Oldman is an exception (Brahm Stoker’s Dracula, 1992), and really did some cool shit in the part. Too bad the rest of the cast made the movie feel like the “Beverly Hills 90210 Senior Play.”

The DVD extras were pretty cool. Some mildly funny bloopers, behind the scenes looks at the creature creation, and an interesting experiment in something that they call “You’re in the Movie.” They strap little cam all over the set and on cameras and then show you different “behind the scenes” views of scenes as they unfold. It could have been better and seemed like someone had the great idea an nobody followed through in post-production.

Pet peeve #678: Referring to Frankenstein’s monster as “Frankenstein,” especially after acknowledging the difference earlier in the movie.

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I’ve decided to try and watch a movie every day (or night, as time premits). Being the sharing sort, I’ve decided to let you all know what I think of them.

Night before last I watched “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.” The night before, Julie and I tried to watch “Envy,” but turned it off half way through. More on that later. Last night I read my book instead of watching a movie. So there: I’ve already failed you, gentle reader. No more sad anticipation of inevitable dissappointment necessary. First, let’s talk about “Master and Commander.”

(more…)

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