ADHD and the FierceFamily

It’s been weeks since our last posting.  Did you see how Jamama posted like crazy for a while and then just sort of dropped off?  It’s not that she lost interest, or forgot about the blog…neither did I.  It’s just that life - or lifestyle - is notoriously unsympathetic toward those with ADHD.  At least our life.  And our lifestyle.

You see, routine is key for survival when you live with ADHD.  Summer is bad for routine.  The kids have been doing something totally different every single week since school let out.  They’ve been on four week-long trips with grandparents, four weeks of swim team (and all the associated madness), had two weeks of babysitters, playdates, sleepovers, and birthday parties, and are now split between skateboard camp (him) and a week home (her).  Next week they’re both at camp, then he’s home for a week while she does a second week of camp.  After that we’re all off for a week of “vacation,” then it’s back to school.

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The background: At a recent Saturday swim meet, Row’s coach commented on the amount of time it took to track Row down for his races.

The scene: Wednesday Night Swim Meet

The action: Row is sent to the “clerk of course” - but loses his way - twice. So Tim and I physically walk with him all the way there, and I stand with my hand on his shoulder Continue Reading »

Jamama: How do you know you have ADHD?

Non:I know I have ADHD because I can never sit still. I can’t keep track of my things. My room is SuPeR dirty. I forget stuff all the time, this one time I was on a camping trip and in the middle of the drive there I said,”Oh darn-it I forgot my water bottle and Dartainian (my favorite stuffed animal) at the house.” Continue Reading »

Ask Tim. I have invented no less than 20 versions of a “chore chart” for each of us. I’ve tried this software, laminated picture charts, flat-out bribes, point systems, a game called “Chore Chore Revolution” and more. For example, here’s a picture of the sticker chore game-board we used to use. The goal was to cover as much of the board as possible. The more squares covered with stickers, the better the prize.

But here’s my (current) favorite. I printed out the chores on my labeler. Then I printed out little symbols that Row picked.

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Mel Levine seems like such a nice, empathic guy. The way he writes about the struggles that students have makes me wish I could go to him and have him solve the puzzle of all of my challenges. Maybe most importantly, I want Dr. Levine to explain those challenges to me in a way that makes me feel as empathic towards myself as he sounds towards his patients. Continue Reading »

Holy cow. Grr arrgh. Poop.

It’s not like it’s a surprise. Last week someone said, “Are you looking forward to summer?” and I replied with some hedging about how summer might be nice after the transition to summer, which would be a drag, as it always is. It’s not specific to summer. It’s any transition. Going back to school, going on winter break, going back after spring break - it doesn’t matter the change in schedule, whatever the change, the transition stinks. My kids are not usually easy. But, they’re not impossible little animals either. Except during a transition. I know this about them.

So, how come I completely lost it with my kids over their horrible choices over the past few days? It’s not like I was caught off guard. It’s not like it was the first time this ever happened. Why wasn’t I armed and ready? Continue Reading »

To me, the very worst place in the whole wide world is the grocery store. I hate it almost as much as laundry. First, there’s the trying to figure out what we’ll eat for the week.

Jamama: What do you want to eat this week?
Tim: I dunno. What do you want to eat this week?
Jamama: I dunno.

And then there’s the endless making of the grocery lists. Continue Reading »

Girls are underdiagnosed with ADHD because, very often, their symptoms are not as recognizable and/or as annoying as the symptoms in boys. Nadeau, Littman, & Quinn state,

Girls, through biology and socialization, tend to be less active, more compliant, and less aggressive… Girls who are distracted, disorganized, quiet daydreamers receive less attention from parents and teachers than do boys who are more active, disruptive, and defiant. It is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease!” (p. 18) Continue Reading »

As a kid, I always knew I was different - in a bad way - from my peers. Though adults seemed to group me in with the smarter kids, I was not like them. I never did my homework, except in the 5 minutes before class in the hallway. I always meant to stay on top of things, and developed really elaborate systems for doing so. Then, a week, or a few days, or a few hours into the new system, I’d fall on my face. Woe to me when a teacher had a flexible deadline, because I never, ever did an assignment before the very last minute it was due. If the deadline wasn’t clear, that last-minute adrenaline never kicked in, and I never did the assignment. Continue Reading »

I can’t help it. I really love my labeler.

I read that statement and think, “Criminy - get a LIFE!” But I have a life, and that is precisely why I love my labeler. When you can’t keep things in your head, you have to write them down somewhere, right? So, we made this huge calendar to keep track of all of the crazy daily stuff we need to know. For example, is it P.E. day (in which case, one must wear gym shoes) or “media” day (in which case, one must frantically ransack the house seeking the missing library book)? Or, is the school lunch both vegetarian and edible today or must we pack a lunch? And, who, exactly, is taking care of Non and Row today?

So, we got this white board, drew six weeks worth of squares on it (in permanent ink), and were ready to rock and roll (or, at least, to show up most places we’re supposed to be). But it’s overwhelming. Plus, dry erase markers actually erase permanent marker on white boards. You also have to re-write all of the regularly occurring stuff (e.g., Row buys pizza every Friday). Continue Reading »