ADHD and the FierceFamily

Holy cow. Grr arrgh. Poop.

It’s not like it’s a surprise. Last week someone said, “Are you looking forward to summer?” and I replied with some hedging about how summer might be nice after the transition to summer, which would be a drag, as it always is. It’s not specific to summer. It’s any transition. Going back to school, going on winter break, going back after spring break - it doesn’t matter the change in schedule, whatever the change, the transition stinks. My kids are not usually easy. But, they’re not impossible little animals either. Except during a transition. I know this about them.

So, how come I completely lost it with my kids over their horrible choices over the past few days? It’s not like I was caught off guard. It’s not like it was the first time this ever happened. Why wasn’t I armed and ready?

Here was what happened yesterday while I was otherwise occupied (hmmm - would that be the key phrase, right there?):

• Non & Row fill water balloons and explode them all over the house, including on my work papers, my purse, my computer, and every square inch of floor
• Non & Row peel paint off the wall in our entry way, and get a large enough bubble pulled out to hide candy inside the paint bubble (see picture)
• Non smacks Row so hard that he smacks her back and leaves a mark
• Row & Non fight so constantly that screaming is the only sound in my house for more than 3 hours
• Non spills a bowl of cereal, with milk, all over the floor, and cleans up the part that I can readily see - the rest she decides to pretend isn’t there

I guess I know that in a transition they need more supervision than usual. And I guess I should plan ahead to be able to give them my undivided attention for several days during a transition. Or arrange to have someone else there who can give them their undivided attention. That’s the only approach that makes any sense. But, how does one do that in a world where summer plans are totally pieced together in a nearly random and chaotic way?

I guess I should give us all a break. The biggest transition of all is that I’ve gotten a full-time, steady job for the first time since the kids were born. And, this is the first summer since I got that job. Everything works differently now. I should have known that working from home was not the same as spending time with the kids. But when you can’t take time off work, what do you do?

I guess you just expect that your house will suffer. And try to approach it with a sense of humor. Hiding candy in peeled off paint is kind of funny, right? I mean, who would think of that? It’s a sign of their creative genius, I suppose. And it makes a good story. Coming from an Irish, story-telling family, what could be better than a good story?

Perhaps most of all, when you mess up as a parent, it provides you with an opportunity to model for your child - how to take responsibility for your actions, how to give a real apology, how to make amends. So, if you think about it, not losing it every now and then must be a form of child neglect, because they’re missing out on some of life’s most important lessons. Maybe I should change the title of this post to, “Transitions provide educational opportunity for me to behave like an a**.” Yes. I am the rationalizing Queen.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS