ADHD and the FierceFamily

What time is it?!?  Oh, hell, is Saturday already mostly gone?  I haven’t even started doing the dishes and that was only the first little thing on the list.  Let’s see, I did do the things at the end of the list already; The non-critical ones.  I went to the farmer’s market because that’s fun and J and I want to eat something yummy tonight that the kids won’t touch.  And now J is on her way home and none of the obvious stuff is going to be done before she gets here, and now I’m updating the blog instead because it’s been weeks since either of us posted anything and dammit, WE MADE A COMMITMENT.  Sigh.  Maybe we’ll just drink some wine, watch more of season two of Veronica Mars tonight and sleep in tomorrow.  We can always get organized tomorrow, right?  I can’t find my stupid list anyway.

It’s been weeks since our last posting.  Did you see how Jamama posted like crazy for a while and then just sort of dropped off?  It’s not that she lost interest, or forgot about the blog…neither did I.  It’s just that life - or lifestyle - is notoriously unsympathetic toward those with ADHD.  At least our life.  And our lifestyle.

You see, routine is key for survival when you live with ADHD.  Summer is bad for routine.  The kids have been doing something totally different every single week since school let out.  They’ve been on four week-long trips with grandparents, four weeks of swim team (and all the associated madness), had two weeks of babysitters, playdates, sleepovers, and birthday parties, and are now split between skateboard camp (him) and a week home (her).  Next week they’re both at camp, then he’s home for a week while she does a second week of camp.  After that we’re all off for a week of “vacation,” then it’s back to school.

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I know Jamama thinks she’s the only one for whom the perfect calendar is some sort of holy grail.  Not so!  I too am constantly looking for a calendar that will seamlessly address the following needs:

1. Free (or incredibly cheap)
2. Supports multiple calendars (Tim, Family, Work, etc.)
3. Calendar stored locally
4. Syncs with Windows Mobile Handheld
5. Syncs with Google Calendar
6. Supports category synchronization between local, Google, and Handheld

The closest I’ve managed to come is Sunbird - from Mozilla the makers of the Firefox browser and the Thunderbird email client.  It’s what I’m using right now, but it fails on two items in the list above.

1. While it is able to sync with both my handheld and Google calendar (using third party plugins) it erases my categories.
2. The calendar is not actually stored locally.

GCalDaemon is the application that allows me to set the location of my .ics file (open source calendar file) to point at my Google calendar.  The drawback is that there is no local calendar and if the GCalDaemon is not running, or I have no internet connection, my calendar will be empty.  The other plugin I use is called BirdieSync, which allows Sunbird to sinc with a variety of handheld devices.  It works great but costs $20.

At work I use Microsoft Outlook because that’s just the way it is.  While I am really quite pleased with the newest version (2007), it won’t sync with my Google calendar.  Plus, it is neither free nor cheap.  Thats said, there is a fairly decent way to sync Outlook with a Google calendar.

The search continues.  Anyone out there have any great ideas?

The background: At a recent Saturday swim meet, Row’s coach commented on the amount of time it took to track Row down for his races.

The scene: Wednesday Night Swim Meet

The action: Row is sent to the “clerk of course” - but loses his way - twice. So Tim and I physically walk with him all the way there, and I stand with my hand on his shoulder Continue Reading

Jamama: How do you know you have ADHD?

Non:I know I have ADHD because I can never sit still. I can’t keep track of my things. My room is SuPeR dirty. I forget stuff all the time, this one time I was on a camping trip and in the middle of the drive there I said,”Oh darn-it I forgot my water bottle and Dartainian (my favorite stuffed animal) at the house.” Continue Reading

Ask Tim. I have invented no less than 20 versions of a “chore chart” for each of us. I’ve tried this software, laminated picture charts, flat-out bribes, point systems, a game called “Chore Chore Revolution” and more. For example, here’s a picture of the sticker chore game-board we used to use. The goal was to cover as much of the board as possible. The more squares covered with stickers, the better the prize.

But here’s my (current) favorite. I printed out the chores on my labeler. Then I printed out little symbols that Row picked.

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Mel Levine seems like such a nice, empathic guy. The way he writes about the struggles that students have makes me wish I could go to him and have him solve the puzzle of all of my challenges. Maybe most importantly, I want Dr. Levine to explain those challenges to me in a way that makes me feel as empathic towards myself as he sounds towards his patients. Continue Reading

Holy cow. Grr arrgh. Poop.

It’s not like it’s a surprise. Last week someone said, “Are you looking forward to summer?” and I replied with some hedging about how summer might be nice after the transition to summer, which would be a drag, as it always is. It’s not specific to summer. It’s any transition. Going back to school, going on winter break, going back after spring break - it doesn’t matter the change in schedule, whatever the change, the transition stinks. My kids are not usually easy. But, they’re not impossible little animals either. Except during a transition. I know this about them.

So, how come I completely lost it with my kids over their horrible choices over the past few days? It’s not like I was caught off guard. It’s not like it was the first time this ever happened. Why wasn’t I armed and ready? Continue Reading

To me, the very worst place in the whole wide world is the grocery store. I hate it almost as much as laundry. First, there’s the trying to figure out what we’ll eat for the week.

Jamama: What do you want to eat this week?
Tim: I dunno. What do you want to eat this week?
Jamama: I dunno.

And then there’s the endless making of the grocery lists. Continue Reading

Girls are underdiagnosed with ADHD because, very often, their symptoms are not as recognizable and/or as annoying as the symptoms in boys. Nadeau, Littman, & Quinn state,

Girls, through biology and socialization, tend to be less active, more compliant, and less aggressive… Girls who are distracted, disorganized, quiet daydreamers receive less attention from parents and teachers than do boys who are more active, disruptive, and defiant. It is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease!” (p. 18) Continue Reading